Nano Word Count: Ummmm, Frankie...you haven't really updated me in a few days.
Frankie: Yeah, soooo?
Nano Word Count: Well, it's kind of embarrassing.
Frankie: You're a word count. What could you possibly find embarrassing?
Nano Word Count: All of the other word counts are growing. A lot. Every day. Sometimes multiple times in a day.
Frankie: So, you're not every other word count. You're your own word count. You're unique.
Nano Word Count: I don't want to be unique, I want to be like everyone else!
Frankie: Trust me, being like everyone else is so not the point of life.
Nano Word Count: Except it's the point of MY life. I exist so that I can increase and one day grow to 50,000! And right now, it's like you're keeping me from puberty!
Frankie: Word counts go through puberty?
Nano Word Count: Yes! All the other word counts are teasing me. They keep showing off how they have five digits and laughing at me for only having four.
Frankie: Ignore them. There's nothing wrong with having four digits.
Nano Word Count: YES there is! Four digits is acceptable for like the first few days, but it's NOVEMBER 11th! You are supposed to be in FIVE DIGITS BY NOW!
Frankie: Hey, don't yell at me! This isn't my fault.
Nano Word Count: YES it is! This is all your fault. If you'd just write more and update me...
Frankie: Well, maybe my novel isn't going so well, and I needed time to regroup.
Nano Word Count: TIME TO REGROUP? TIME TO REGROUP! It's Nanowrimo. You don't have time to regroup!
Frankie: Ok, if you're going to be a punk, maybe I don't want to up your word count.
Nano Word Count: You better increase my word count! Or else...
Frankie: Or else what?
Nano Word Count: Or else I'm going to tell EVERYONE that your personified me to look like we could have an actual conversation but you're actually just talking to yourself. Boo-yah!
Nano Word Count: ...
Frankie: Don't ever say Boo-yah again.
Nano Word Count: Update me please?????????
Frankie: I'll take it into consideration.