In order to protect the innocent--I will not name names, but said person involved in this incident was in fact related to me! And not in some kind of uber-distant way. But in a you-changed-my-diapers and have totally watched-me-grow-up my entire life kind of way!
So I'm at a family thingy on Sunday night and things are kind of chill and quiet and I decide to pull out my copy of ZOMG--Anna and the French Kiss! Yes--it's my second read. Yes--it's that good.
And then THIS happens...
Pause!
--A little backstory--
EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE in my family knows that:
A: I'm a writer
B: I'm the kind of writer who writes novels
C: Ok maybe this is just me but I would assume that if a person writes novels they also like novels, so....
D: I'm a writer, I write novels and I like novels
-------
And then this occurs:
Me: *face buried in Anna and the French Kiss*
Relative: What are you reading?
Me: Oh it's this really good book called Anna and the French Kiss.
Relative: Hmmph. What's it about?
Me: Well this girl goes to boarding school in France and...
Relative: *glares at me* Oooooh. It's one of those novels.
Me: ... Those novels? What are those novels? Novels that are about France? About girls named Anna? WHAT!
Relative: So do you like LIKE novels?
Me: ... OMFG are you KIDDING ME! Ask me if I like Oxygen! Um....yeah.
Relative: Oh well I hate novels. They're all just about a bunch of made up stuff that people made up and I like real things that are real.
Me: :O But...But...But...But I WRITE NOVELS! My goal in life is make up a bunch of stuff and write it down and make it into a novel full of things that I made up!!!!!!! Oh ok...cool.... *deflates* *headdesk*
So yes...even though I am known in my family as a NOVELIST, this actually happened.
I then spent the next hour on the phone with my BFF completely SHOCKED that this had happened and that I shared the same DNA with this person and then coming up with a hundred variations on the conversation to illustrate my point.
Example:
Example:
Relative: What are you doing?
Chef: I am making food.
Relative: Oh do you like LIKE food?
Chef: Ummm... Yes...
Relative: Well I hate food. In fact, I don't eat!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So in case you thought your family was weird or didn't understand your fascination with breathing reading, well, you're not alone.
Please, please tell me you've had some crazy comment about writing or books from your own family!
HAHAHAHA! Don't worry, we readers are weird. And you are even more weird because you write novels. And eat.
ReplyDeleteOne day, one of my relatives asked me why did I have so much books? For her, it was so boring to read. :o
Totally inappropriate, since everyone in my family knows I love to read, and I have a book blog!!!! Gosh, I wanted to smack her.
But I guess we can't choose family??
Oh, I just remembered. My mother told me once that I should stop buying books. I'm sorry, what? She likes to read too, just for the record. But I guess she isn't happy that I need another bookshelf. xD
"Ask me if I like oxygen" Bahaha, this is so true!
ReplyDeleteOh relatives, you have to love them because you're related to them, but by no means are to you ever understand them. My family thinks it's a phase, something that'll eventually pass. Like an ear infection, or wearing all black for a few months.
I plan on making up stuff and selling it, lol. Sheesh, a person who doesn't read, doesn't live.
When I told my brother (who I love and respect and think is the COOLEST person ever) that I was writing YA, he said, "Oh, yeah. That makes sense. You know, get published quickly in that market so you can use it as a springboard for real books."
ReplyDeleteI wanted to punch him in his face.
But that was last year. I've definitely schooled him since then.
Ugh. My dad doesn't read fiction because he doesn't consider it worth his time. The thing is, non-fiction books are just as full of made-up crap as novels -- it's called bias. I think it's worse because so many non-fiction books try to pretend like they're objective truth.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, being in physics, I should get used to it. The number one response to hearing that I'm a physicist is "Oh, I hated physics." Gee. Thanks. Jerk.
Ha ha! Isn't it amazing what family will say? Usually when someone in my family learns I'm writing a book, they look at me with that oh-you-poor-thing-I'm-sure-you'll-grow-up-and-join-the-real-world soon look. Ugh!
ReplyDeletePsssh! Eating! Who does that? So overrated!
ReplyDeleteHeather--I remember that story! Glad you schooled him!
Jenn--HA! You are kind of asking for it with Physics.
Ha ha. It's amazing the things people say. I usually get the 'she's writing' eye roll.
ReplyDeleteWow...that's...well, relatives are an interesting breed are they not? And by interesting, of course, I mean certifiably insane.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I don't know enough about this relative, but I just can't imagine how hard it must've been for him/her to go through grade school and beyond without liking novels. O_O
ReplyDeleteI reall wonder what this relative of yours spends their spare time doing...sports, watching politics? I mean, he/she said he/she didn't like made up things, does that also include TV? :/
The question she asked (if you like novels) is a bit silly if you ask me. xD
Hmm...well when I was younger I tried making a "neigborhood newspaper" for my neighborhood but my parents wouldn't let me. And once my relative said my writing was bad, but he had never read my work before!!
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com
Hahaha. Way to go, random relative! I think my favorite part was that it was one of THOSE novels, and by one of THOSE, they actually meant all novels. Unless I missed the part where there are some novels where things aren't made up.
ReplyDeleteI think my best book story happened a few Christmases ago--it was my first time spending Xmas with the husband's family (this was when he was just the fiance) and even though there's a tradition that the adults don't exchange presents with each other (meaning I wasn't required to buy anyone a gift), I really wanted to because I thought it would make a good impression. The thing is, his family is impossible to shop for. So I ran around and made myself crazy trying to get everyone something I thought they would like.
Fast forward to Xmas day and I'm handing out presents. I give his Aunt my present. I bought her The Magician's Assistant by Ann Patchett, because I knew (read: THOUGHT) his Aunt liked to read and Ann Patchett went to the same college as me and was my graduation speaker and I could share a fun little anecdote when she opened it. Instead, it went like this.
Aunt: (opening the present), Oh, the Magician's Assistant.
Me: Yeah, it's by Ann Patchett. She--
Aunt: I'm reading a book about magic right now. It's... (Aunt launches into a long explanation of a book that is clearly a poorly written romance novel.)
Me: Oh. Well. It's kind of like that.
Needless to say, I don't think she ever read it, and I didn't buy anymore gifts!
Haha! Oh people always amaze me with the things they say. I would have died laughing if you would have spouted off the food line to this relative!
ReplyDeleteMy mom doesn't understand that I like reading. Nor does my aunty. They just stand there and talk to me like "You know, most gemini's wait till the movie comes out, like us" I'm the only one in my immediate family that likes to read. Novels. With NO pictures. Lol.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin was all amazed at me 'cause I read Breaking Dawn in front of him (before all the movies made it stupid). Our conversation went something like:
Him: *pointing at book* "Whoa, thats a big book. Are you reading that?"
Me: *looks at him sarcasticly* "No, I'm going to sit here and stare at it. Idiot. Of corse i'm going to read it. It's a book, thats what it's for. It'll be my 2nd time"
Him: *shocked* "Whoa. Does it have any pictures in it?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Hmm. I used to think we were really closely related, but now I wonder... I think books suck."
An hour later he came back bleeding 'cause he got hit in the face with a baseball. I laughed. That's what you get.
ROTFL! Wow, okay. My family seems a little less odd now. But don't worry, only a little!
ReplyDelete