So me and my stomach are currently not on speaking terms. Because she (my belly's a girl) got me in trouble with my personal trainer and it was SO uncalled for!
So here's what happened.
Personal Trainer: Do mad sit ups now while you hang upside down from the ab bench.
Frankie: Ok!
Stomach: WHAT! NOOOOOO! I won't! I won't! I won't! You never ask me what I want to do!
Frankie: You are my stomach and you will do what I say! Now sit up!
Stomach: I am on a sit-up strike!
Personal Trainer: Where are my mad sit ups, woman!?!
Frankie: ...
Personal Trainer: Fine, then do mad sit ups while laying flat on the ab bench.
Frankie: OK!
Stomach: Noooooooooooooooooooo! I refuse!
Frankie: WTF stomach! This is so not cool! You did sit ups last week! Why not now?
Stomach: ...
Frankie: Oh so you're not speaking to me!?!
Personal Trainer: Frankie, what is your deal?
Frankie: I'm having words with my abdomen.
Personal Trainer: And is it talking back to you?
Frankie: ....
Personal Trainer: That's it! Both of you, come with me!
Frankie: Great stomach, now look what you've gotten us into.
Stomach: I'm just tired today.
Frankie: You're tired? You don't do anything, you sit there attached to my torso. I'm tired!
Stomach: This is why I'm on strike, you show me no appreciation. Remember when I shimmied for 20 minutes.
Frankie: Those were my hips and they'll be pissed when they hear you're talking smack.
15 minutes later on the reverse ab machine....
Frankie: Stomach, I hate you.
Stomach: Hehehehehe
LOL< your abs are gonna look killer!
ReplyDeleteHysterical. I took an ab class once. Thought I was gonna throw up before it was over.
ReplyDeleteLOL! My stomach revolts too. But she (mine's also a girl xD) is nicer when I give her some food. She's not quite as grouchy then...
ReplyDeleteThat amused me. I don't work my stomach too hard, yet. It's too round but it won't be long before it gets to work.
ReplyDeleteMy friend, when she started belly dancing, told another, mutual friend that she couldn't do some of the moves because her abs were too tight. IIRC, the response she got was, "You ain't gettin' no sympathy from me, bitch!"
ReplyDeleteNot that this applies to you or anything. Just, y'know, tell the personal trainer not to compromise your shimmying abilities. Or something. I'm sure he'll understand and craft belly-dancing-appropriate workouts for you.
Hilarious. I have to have a discussion with my stomach.
ReplyDeleteheehee, my stomach has funny ideas when I try to exercise too.:)
ReplyDeleteLMAO! My stomach went on a sit-ups strike a long time ago. It isn't finished yet! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is from one of my favorite scenes from Pulp Fiction:
ReplyDeleteFabienne: I was looking at myself in the mirror.
Butch: Uh-huh?
Fabienne: I wish I had a pot.
Butch: You were lookin' in the mirror and you wish you had some pot?
Fabienne: A pot. A pot belly. Pot bellies are sexy.
Butch: Well you should be happy, 'cause you do.
Fabienne: Shut up, Fatso! I don't have a pot! I have a bit of a tummy, like Madonna when she did "Lucky Star," it's not the same thing.
Butch: I didn't realize there was a difference between a tummy and a pot belly.
Fabienne: The difference is huge.
Butch: You want me to have a pot?
Fabienne: No. Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
Butch: You think guys would find that attractive?
Fabienne: I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.
Whenever I look in the mirror, I tell myself, pots are sexy*
*according to Quentin Tarantino
Bwuahahaha, this is a hilarious post!! I'm going to forward it to my sister, I know it's gonna crack her up as much as it made me. :P
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, your stomach isn't the only one that tends to be stubborn. Mine is too!
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com